It's finally time!

L.A. Road Thrift Store is opening. TOMORROW.

I am so excited to finally be able to open the front doors and see people from the community come through them! There have been a few delays recently, but even through them God has proven, once again, that He is so capable of taking care of us and the store.

In the last week two more people have come to join the staff at L.A. Road Thrift Store and it has been so much fun sharing the vision (and workload :) ) with them! They both have added some great dynamics to the team already and I can't wait to see how God is going to use them at the store!

On a more personal note, these last few weeks have been really stretching for me. As most of you know, I've been looking for an apartment to share with two other girls that are working at the thrift store. This process has been very interesting to say the least but as of last Wednesday we are living in our own little apartment! God proved himself so faithful once again and I know He has us in this particular apartment for a reason! The rent is a little higher than we would've preferred and our furniture situation is a little sparse at the moment but even in that God is showing himself faithful and mighty. For instance, I was planning on sleeping on an air mattress until I could buy a bed but then my landlord called and asked if I wanted the bed that was currently in the apartment. I, of course, said YES!!! There have just been little things happening over and over again that just prove to me how good God is!

But I still ask that if you think of me (especially tomorrow, or I guess if you're in Iowa right now then today) please pray for me. Even in the midst of all the excitement of being out here, the thrift store opening, and knowing that God has brought me here, I still get overwhelmed, homesick, and worried. These are all very normal and I understand that. And honestly, most of the time I'm ok. I just know that these things can kind of sneak up and bother me at times when it's really not helpful and I just want to be honest with all of you and say that yes, sometimes it's hard, even when it's really good, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and just say thank you. Thank you for praying and supporting me in this journey. Without all of you I know that I wouldn't be here right now.

I love you all and wish I could give you all a hug!
Holly

Update

Hey Everyone!!

I just thought I would pop in and give you all a little update on how things are going for me. You know how I said that I probably won't be moving until the end of December? Well, God had other ideas and because a building was purchased sooner than planned for the thrift store, I will now be moving the beginning of November! These next few weeks look a little crazy but I am excited at how things are coming together and can't wait to get to Los Angeles!

We are putting on one more fundraiser which will be on October 24th from 5pm-8pm at Pathway Christian School. It is going to be a "Taco Truck" meal with tacos, empanadas and ice cream. I love eating at the Taco Trucks in Los Angeles and wanted to share that experience with all of you here in Iowa!

It has been so cool to see how God has been working all of the details out for this move and I am so grateful for all of your prayers on my behalf! There is a lot to be done in the next month but I'm just trying to take all of this one day at a time!

As far as finances go, things have been going well! I have all but $800 of my student loan paid off and that is the main financial concern I had going into this. I am still uncertain what I'm going to do about a vehicle but I know if I am supposed to have one then God will provide! Again, I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that has supported me through this journey! You have truly blessed me!

Also, if anyone wants to check out the website for the thriftstore where I'll be working, here it is! www.laroadthriftstore.org/

A New Adventure.

Hello Friends.

I'm moving. 

To Los Angeles.

A whole 1,798 miles from my home.

WHAT. 

But you see the story is really cool. So grab a cup of coffee and let's chat. 

It all began two years ago when I went to LA to help out with Evening Bible Camp (EBC). The atmosphere and the Holy Spirit did a work in my life those two weeks and I began to see what real missions was. I went home with the idea that I wanted to move to LA as soon as possible because God obviously wanted me there! Ha. What I realized when I went home was that I was just looking for the experience of it all, but that I wasn't really willing to do any of the things I wanted to do in LA right here at home. These past few years God has taken me through a really cool journey right here in Kalona and I'm so glad I didn't miss out on it by rushing things and going somewhere else. One of the most important and most freeing things He taught me was what true fellowship looks like. One of the ways He did that by having me teach a ladies' Sunday school class. I remember going into it feeling so out of my element and scared spitless. But I came out of that year so refreshed, loved, and blessed by each of the ladies in that group. It wasn't an easy year either. I was finishing up college, Abby died, and it was just full of transition. Through it all the amount of grace shown to me that year was astounding and it freed me to extend that grace to others around me as well. I could go on with more but for now I'll move on. :)

Fast forward to this year and my return to LA to help with EBC in June. Before I went I was praying and I told God that I would love to move to LA but that if I was supposed to there would be a definite open door for me otherwise I would let the idea of moving there rest once again. The first week I was there I was talking with Jared & Carmen and they were sharing their idea of starting a thrift store and looked at me and asked,  “Do you want to come and help us?” I think I had that “deer in the headlights” look when they said that! I really didn’t think God was going to answer my prayer! (yes, sometimes my faith is very small…) Nor did they really expect me to take them seriously! After talking to them a bit we realized all this was more than just a passing interest and started really talking about the mission of the thrift store and what my role could look like. 

As of right now, the plan is for me to move to LA at the end of December or the beginning of January to help get the thrift store up and running. I would also like to continue building relationships with the girls that I had in my EBC group and help out with the kid’s club they have through the church. I can’t say I really have any lofty goals or plans as I move, but rather I just want to share the joy and love of Jesus to the people I interact with. I want to live my life in a way that others will be drawn to Jesus and not only just in LA but wherever God calls me.

These next few months are going to be busy with getting ready to move, working multiple jobs,  fundraising (yes, I'm still paying off college...), and living life. But I'm excited about all of it! I have a few friends that have gotten on board and have started getting fundraisers together and I am SO THANKFUL. They are my lifesavers in all of this! 

So pray for me as I go prepare to move? 

Thanks. 

You guys are the best. :) 

College

College.

Has it really been 2 ½ years since I started? Goodness, but time flies.

As I come to the close of my college life (well at least at Kirkwood, who knows about anything more at this point), I find myself reflecting on all that has been my life these past semesters. Oh you don’t measure your life by semesters? Huh. J

I can honestly say that college was nothing like what I had thought it would be.

It was more. It was less.

I learned so much at Kirkwood. The greatest lesson I learned is that I have so much to be thankful for. Taking classes that pertain to the Social Work field opened my eyes to what a gift my up-bringing has been. People are messed up. They are, and most of the time it is because they didn’t have a solid foundation to start their life with. Things I have like two parents, friends, and a solid, loving church are often missing in other people’s lives. I have been given so much. So thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you for instilling in me the importance of church and community. I never really appreciated it until I went to college.

I also learned plenty of things I had no desire to learn. We won’t go into those…

College also taught me a lot about myself. Ideas I had going into college have since been shattered. Take for instance the idea that if you just get married and have a family soon after high school you are wasting your life. Instead I thought that you needed to get out and experience the world, go into voluntary service, or better yet go to college. Now each of those things are well worth it and do have their place, but where I once encouraged other girls to go to school and “do something” with their life, I hold back a little more. To the girls I used to scoff and scorn when they got engaged or married, I’m sorry. I didn’t value your choices. Please understand that this does not mean that I don’t think girls should get out and see the world and gain an appreciation for other cultures. Opposite in fact. Do all of those things and more. Just don’t do as I did and place little to no value on the girls that stayed home and worked. And got married. And had babies. Sometimes I envy you. Especially when my student loans come due.

Recently, I took a job as a Secretary at a local business and people have looked at me and said, “You went to college just to be a secretary?” No. Yes. I don’t know. I told everyone I was going for Social Work. I was. I got part way there. I have my degree in Human Services. I put a lot of hard work into that degree. I don’t regret it. I just sometimes wish that it wouldn’t have taken going to college to learn some of the lessons I did, but it did. But I’m thankful I’ve learned them. I may go back and finish someday. Just not this year. Maybe never. And that’s ok. I’ve learned that I sometimes it just takes swallowing my pride and admitting that I don’t have everything figured out. But I’m thankful for my journey and to be honest I’m really excited where life is going to take me now that I’m done with Kirkwood.

So long Kwood. It’s been real.

This post was inspired by a recent post by the wonderful Shelley Smucker. In her post she talks about in life there are some things to just be "o.k." with. This is something I've always struggles with being the perfectionist I am. If I know there is something I'm not super good at or with I won't do it. Take softball for instance. I refuse to play the game. I'm absolutely terrible at it and feel awful for whichever team gets stuck with me. That being said its "o.k." for me not to play. I don't NEED to be good at it or even for me to like it. It doesn't make me any less of a person. 
But life is about more than softball isn't it?
I recently went through some of my old journals, cards and such and realized that I am not the person I always imagined myself to be. I had all of these lofty plans and ideas that were always just supposed to turn out just like I had imagined. But guess what? You got it, they didn't. The most disappointing was my time in NYC. A few months ago I was talking about my experiences there and my disappointment in myself during that time to a missionary friend of mine and she spoke some very wise words to me. She said, "Holly, allow yourself to grieve your time and experiences there. Yes, you may have gone into it with rose-colored glasses on, but you went and did what God told you to do. People make mistakes but that doesn't have to define you." I don't think she ever knew how much that meant to me. For so long I was ashamed of what I didn't do when I was in NYC. I was not that super amazing missionary that talks to everyone they meet about Jesus. I wasn't even a very good tutor or Sunday school teacher. But here is what I am trying to say,
it's o.k.
It's ok to be less than perfect. And sometimes its even ok to not measure up to expectations, even your own. 
But it's not o.k. not to try.
After I got home from NYC I was on shut down mode. I figured that if I wasn't good at something I had always dreamed of being then I probably wasn't going to be good at anything else I tried either. So I went back to working at Chick fil A, something I was comfortable with, and I excelled. I was one of their best employees (I'm not trying to brag but at the time it was the truth) and most importantly I was safe. Fast forward a little bit and you have me in college and using that as an excuse not to connect with people. Of course it was a pretty valid reason because I did have piles of homework but it was an easy excuse. I hid out in my room and closed people off because I thought if no one saw what a complete failure I was then my secret was safe. 
That was NOT o.k.
I regret it. I do. 
Then we have this summer. I had the honor of going to Los Angeles to help out with an Evening Bible Camp. It changed my life. It was the first time since NYC that I truly felt like I contributed to any sort of ministry. It felt amazing. I came alive. Suddenly, I wasn't hiding from my past experiences. I was focusing on the eternal instead of the here and now. God did an amazing work at EBC and in my life. There was one morning where we as a group were singing and praying and I realized that I was the happiest I had been in a long time. In worshiping and praising God I had found my purpose once again. I had a vision for life and a goal. But now I'm back home. Routine sets in and I'm busy once again and I lose sight of my purpose. It is a daily struggle. But that is o.k. 
It is o.k. to struggle because that means we are alive. 
If we aren't ever experiencing struggle than we probably aren't standing up for anything either. This all being said I have a few things to add to Shelley's list of things to be o.k. with. 

 It's o.k. to be terrible at softball. (come sit with me in the bleachers) :)

It's o.k. to admit defeat.

It's o.k. to struggle.

It's o.k. to hide in your room. (for a little while anyways)

It's o.k. to grieve the loss of a dream.

a new chapter

In the past few months a few things have become a little clearer for me. 
Mind you just a FEW. 
One of this few things has been God's heart for the orphan, namely those with special needs. Seeing God's heart for these children along with the heart's of those who have already adopted these precious children had opened my eyes and heart to their plight. Over the past few months I have been reading blogs written by mothers (and fathers) who have answered the call to mother these children. Many times I have been moved to tears reading about their struggles and their joys. I would find myself in front of my computer wiping tears away and wondering what is wrong with me, why am I crying? Then this morning I found myself in the exact same position of wiping tears away and thinking, "Good grief, get yourself together Holly!"  and then it hit me if I am wiping tears away I bet God is doing the same. These are His creations who he lovingly fashioned and knows by name and His heart hurts way more for them than mine does. Even as I think this and know that he has everything under control, I keep coming back to what can I do for them right now? Here I am a single, 22 yr old woman who is in school and barely has time for people she does know much less for those she doesn't! Surely I can't do anything. Then I thought of this blog. Maybe, just maybe, through posting on here about different organizations, children, and other blogs I can open up the world of adoption to those of you who read this. Either that or it can be a place where I share my journey in this world of adoption and you can just come along for the ride. The only thing I ask of you is that you pray with me that we would not live with our eyes closed but rather with eyes opened to what God is doing around the world and that you consider your part in this grand story of life. 

"Father, may our hearts be soft to hear when you are speaking to us and strong enough to follow the journey through until the end."

p.s. here is a link to a blog that brought me to tears this morning... :)
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/11/this-one-too-is-our-problem.html?spref=fb

.the end of the beginning.

So what does one do once their dreams are all used up?
                                     Write about them.... :)
New York City was my dream place to live. Now that I've lived there I have an even deeper love for the place and my eyes light up every time I see something that has even the smallest thing to do with it.  Like take for instance the fact that I had to point out to my parents the lovely buggy I saw a little old lady pushing in IA City that everyone seems to have in NYC, or the book I saw on NYC today at American Eagle that I almost bought just because it had to do with NYC, or the fact that I was SUPER stoked about a Falafel House is in the Coralridge mall. Yes, all these things made my smile hugely! I know I have only been home a little over a week, but something that dear to my heart doesn't leave me to quickly. BUT at the same time I know that I was supposed to come home again. It came in a way that I wasn't really expecting with the death of my Grandpa, but yet it all worked out very well. There were a lot of things I was planning on doing the last 2 weeks I was there that didn't get done but at the same time it was obviously meant to be. But now I feel like I am in a transition stage once again. Maybe if I stayed in one place for more than 6 months I wouldn't have to do this so much. :) But where's the fun in that?
Anyway, I just want to thank all of you who have been keeping up with this blog (the few posts that I've done!)  and for praying for me while I've been in NYC. It means more to me than you will ever know! I'm going to leave you with a few verses that are some of my favorites and ones that I need to be reminding myself of right now. :)
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11 & 13
-that's all folks!